I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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