I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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