she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
