My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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