Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
