i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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