No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize