Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
In other news, I just burned my penis
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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