If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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