Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
This baby is an asshole
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
This can only be settled by a dance off.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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