That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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