Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
