i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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