btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
You had me at "let me see your balls"
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
