I wish I only lived at night.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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