i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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