found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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