He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Randomize