I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
