end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
