That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
