I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
