why didn't you poke me back
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
