last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize