In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
you had me at cake vodka
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
