Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
