just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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