she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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