So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Randomize
