You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
