dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
