No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
