Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
