You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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