I heard we made out
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
