I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
