We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
