we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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