This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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