I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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