Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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