so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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