Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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