he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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