I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I'm both gender and math confused
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
