some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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