Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize