The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
