Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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