I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
