i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
