**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
