I wish I only lived at night.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
The air was thick with penises
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize