I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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