Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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