dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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