I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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