Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
