Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Randomize
