He kissed a someone with a penis
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
